Rahul's Dad brought home a robot one day. The robot had the ability to detect lies and would slap the person who lied.
Rahul returned late from school. Dad asked, "Son why are you late from school?"
"Dad, we had extra classes today". Robot slapped Rahul on his face.
Dad shouted, "Come on tell me the truth, why are you late?"
"Dad, I went to see the movie Ten Commandments." Robot slapped Rahul on his face.
Sorry dad, I went to see the movie "Chameli Ki Jawaani".
"Shame on you son, when I
was your age, I never watched obscene movies or misbehaved."
Immediately, Dad gets a slap on the face from the robot. Rahul's mom comes walking out of the kitchen and says to her husband,
"After all, he's your son!"
The robot slaps the mom. -
OOPS ..!!
9:49 PM
9:48 PM
God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining to his subordinates "Look everything should be in balance. For example, after every 10 deer there should be a lion. Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States. I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension....
And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes. And here is South America. I have given them lots of forests. But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests... So you see fellows, everything should be in balance. One of the angels asked...
"God, what is this extremely
beautiful country here?"
God said....... "Ahah...that is the crown piece of all. "INDIA", My most precious creation. It has understanding and friendly People. Sparkling streams and serene mountains. A culture which speaks of the gret tradition that they live. Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold..... The angel was quite surprised:
"But god you said everything should be in balance."
God replied -- "Look at the neighbours I gave them."
9:45 PM
LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST- when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.
LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love."
LUST - When intercourse is called
"screwing."
MARRIAGE - When intercourse is a
town in Pennsylvania. There
really is one.
LOVE - When you argue over how
many children to have.
LUST - When you argue over who
gets the wet spot?
MARRIAGE - When you argue over
whose idea it was to have kids.
LOVE - When you share
everything you own.
LUST - When you steal
everything they own.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns
everything.
LOVE - When it doesn't matter if
you don't climax.
LUST - When the relationship is
over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE - When . . . Uh . . .
what's a climax?
LOVE - When you phone each
other just to say, "Hi."
LUST - When you phone each
other to pick a hotel room.
MARRIAGE - When you phone each
other to ***** about work.
LOVE - When you write poems
about your partner.LUST - When all you write is your
phone number.
MARRIAGE - When all you write is
checks.
LOVE - When your only concern is
for your partner's feelings.
LUST - When your only concern is
to find a room with mirrors all-
round.
MARRIAGE - When you're only
concern is what's on T.V.
LOVE - When you are proud to be
seen in public with your partner.
LUST - When you only see each
other naked.
MARRIAGE - When you never see
each other awake.
LOVE - When your heart flutters
every time you see them.
LUST - When your groin twitches
every time you see them.
MARRIAGE - When your wallet
empties every time you see
them.
LOVE - When all the songs on the
radio describe exactly how you
feel.
LUST - When the song on the
radio determines how you do it.
MARRIAGE - When you listen to
talk radio.
LOVE - When breaking up is
something you try not to think
about.
LUST - When staying together is
something you try not to think
about.
MARRIAGE - When just getting
through the day is your only
thought.
LOVE - When you're only
interested in oing things with
your partner.
LUST - When you're only
interested in doing things TO
your partner.
MARRIAGE - When you're only
interested in your golf score.
LOVE - When a rainy day means
more time to stay inside and
talk.
LUST - When a rainy day means
more time to stay inside and
have sex.
MARRIAGE - When a rainy day
means it's time to clean the
basement.
LOVE - You only leave the house
to buy coffee and doughnuts.
LUST - You only leave the house
to buy condoms and Vaseline.
MARRIAGE - You only leave the
house when you're allowed.
9:40 PM
A guy suspected that his wife was cheating on him, so he hired a Chinese detective... The cheapest one he could find.
This is his report:
Most honorable sir,
You leave house. I watch house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go hotel. I climb tree. I look window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he.. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall off tree. I no see.
No fee,
Cheng Lee
9:33 PM
You may not know this but many nonliving things have a gender.
A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.
A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.
An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.
Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.
A Hammer is Male , because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
A Remote Control is Female. Ha! ou thought it'd be male ,didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!
9:26 PM
"Hello"
"hi honey, this is daddy. is mommy near the phone?"
"no daddy she is upstairs in the bedroom with uncle paul."
after a brief pause daddy
says
"but honey u haven't got an uncle paul!"
"oh yes i do and he is upstairs in the room with mommy right now."
breif pause
"uh okay then,this is what i want u to do put the phone down on the table, run upstair knock the bedroom door and shout to mommy daddy's car just pulled in the driveway."
"ok daddy just a minute."
a while later the little girl
comes back to the phone,
"done it daddy."
"what happened honey?"
"well mommy got scared jumped out of bed naked, ran round the room screaming, tripped over and knocked her head on the dresser now she aint moving at all."
"what bout uncle paul?"
asked dad.
"he jumped out the window into the swimming pool but i guess he didn't know you
emptied the water last
week. he hit the bottom and
i think he's dead." really
long pause this time.
daddy says,
"swimming pool?.. is this 486-5731?"
"no this is 486-5713.."sorry wrong number..
3:54 AM
After pulling back from the gate
on a Southwest flight the plane
taxied for what seemed like
forever, never seeming to get
to the runway. Finally a flight
attendant comes on the PA and
announces, "You all may be
wondering why your tickets
were so cheap? It's because
we're driving you to Phoenix!"
3:13 AM
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2:35 AM
This is a comic story called " Edirige Satare ", published in Tharunaya News Paper.
2:34 AM
This is a comic story called " Edirige Satare ", published in Tharunaya News Paper.
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