Technological Doctor

One day, a man complained to his
friend, "My elbow really hurts,
guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that.
There's a computer at the drug
store that can diagnose anything
quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your
urine, and the computer will
diagnose your problem and tell you
what you can do about it. And it
only costs $10.00."
The guy figured he had nothing to
lose, so he filled a jar with a urine
sample and went to the drug store.
Finding the computer, he poured in
the sample and deposited the
$10.00. The computer started
making some noise andvarious
lights started flashing. After a brief
pause, out popped a small slip of
paper which read:
You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water,
avoid heavy labor.
It will be better in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how
amazing this new technology was
and how it would change medical
science forever, he began to
wonder if this computer could be
fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed
together some tap water, a stool
sample from his dog, and urine
samples from his wife and
daughter. To top it off, he
masturbated into the concoction. He
went back to the drug store, located
the computer, poured in thisample
and deposited the $10.00. The
machine again made the usual
noises,flashedlights, and printed out
the following analysis:
Your tap water is too hard. Get a
water softener.
Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him
with anti-fungal shampoo.
Your daughter is using cocaine. Put
her in a rehabilitation clinic.
Your wife is pregnant....twin girls.
They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
And.... if you don't stop jerking off,
your elbow will never get better!