We will now upgrade your brain........
Please wait........
Searching........
Searching.......
Still searching........
Sorry,NO BRAIN found.......
11:16 PM
2:54 AM
Rob says:
We've all had our fair share of
mishaps in that department I can
assure you.
Dave says:
if you ever find a manual, make
sure you share it
Rob says:
Girls are written in a bizarre
server side language neither of
us have heard of
There's an open source
compatibility layer between guys
and girls but the developers
abandoned it half way through
so you gotta tweak it heavily ot
make it work
Dave says:
heh
Rob says:
Think... samba.
Dave says:
ahhh
Rob says:
Girl > Girl communication is fine
Girl > Guy communication is
supported unofficially
Through a third party,
unsupported compatibility layer
Dave says:
I tried guy > girl through a 3rd
party that has a connection
inside the other subnet, but the
3rd party refused to NAT the
connection
Rob says:
Ohhhh so you were stuck on the
192.168 subnet while she was
way out there
Using a proxy is a very good
method of traversal though
Man in the middle attacks are a
potential problem though
Dave says:
I doubt it, this was a trusted
proxy, but it refused to pass on
the connection, said I have to do
it directly
Rob says:
Ahh I see
And the proxy refused an
encrypted HTTP/S transfer?
Dave says:
I wanted the proxy to anonomise
the source, and just send a
status request, but it refused
Rob says:
Connection rest by peer?
*reset
Dave says:
unwilling to forward query
packet
Rob says:
HTTP error status 305 I think
you'll find.
Dave says:
thanks
2:47 AM
1 cup Courtesy
2 cup Patience
4 cup Forgiveness
3 cups Understanding
1 cup Encouragement
4 tsp. Unselfishness
Stir in a pinch of Praise.
Add a dash of Wit and
Humor.
Season with Faith and
Confidence ,
Put it in a 24 x 7 pan, bake
on 365o for a Lifetime
and serve with generous
portions of Love and
Smiles . .
Cheers!!!
2:34 AM
If a barber makes a mistake,
It's a new style
If a driver makes a mistake,
It is a new path
If an engineer makes a mistake,
It is a new venture
If parents makes a mistake,
It is a new generation
If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a new law
If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a new invention
If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a new fashion
If a teacher makes a mistake ,
It is a new theory
If our boss makes a mistake,
It is a new idea
If I makes a mistake,
:o o:
It is a mistake only
Mistake Only
2:30 AM
Guys drink to forget about
the girl...
Girls drink to think back
about the
guy...
When guys are in love, they
become
poor.
When girls are in love, they
become
pretty...
Guys can forget, but cannot
forgive...
Girls can forgive, but cannot
forget..
Guys care the most about
the quantity
of love...
Girls care the most about
the quality
of love..
Guys break-up when they
feel love from
another girl...
Girls break-up when they
feel the
feeling of separation from
her man...
Guys feel curiosity towards
all
girls...
G irls feel curiosity towards
guys who
are interested in her..
When guys are heartbroken,
they try to
forget about the girl by
going out
with another girl...
When girls are heartbroken,
they try
to find his characteristics
from
another guy...
Guys wish to be her first
love....
Girls wish to be his last
love...
2:17 AM
One day, while a woodcutter
was cutting a branch of a tree
above a river, his axe fell into
the river. When he cried out, the
Lord appeared and asked, "Why
are you crying?"
The woodcutter replied that his
axe has fallen into water, and he
needed the axe to make his
living.
The Lord went down into the
water and reappeared with a
golden axe. "Is this your axe?"
the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord again went down and
came up with a silver Axe. "Is this
your axe?" the Lord asked.
Again, the woodcutter replied,
"No."
The Lord went down again and
came up with an iron Axe. "Is this
your axe?" the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the
man's honesty and gave him all
three axes to keep, and the
woodcutter went home happy.
Some time later the woodcutter
was walking with his wife along
the riverbank, and his wife fell
into the river. When he cried out,
the Lord again appeared and
asked him, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into
the water!"
The Lord went down into the
water and came up with
ANGELINA JOLIE
"Is this your wife?" the Lord
asked.
"Yes," cried the woodcutter.
The Lord was furious. "You lied!
That is an untruth!"
The woodcutter replied, "Oh,
forgive me, my Lord. It is a
misunderstanding. You see, if I
had said 'no' to
ANGELINA JOLIE,
You would have come up with
CAMERON DIAZ.
Then if I said 'no' to her, you
would have come up with my
wife.
Had I then said 'yes,' you would
have given me all three. Lord, I
am a poor man, and am not able
to take care of all three wives,
so THAT'S why I said yes to
ANGELINA JOLIE.
"
The moral of this story is:
Whenever a man lies, it is for a
good and honorable reason, and
for the benefit of others.
That's our story, and men're
sticking to it! -
"MEN ARE
HONO
URABLE
!!!!!!"
2:09 AM
1
DON'T SLEEP WITH WATCH
Watches can emit a certain level
of radioactivity.
Though small, but if you wear
your watch to bed
for a long time, it might have
adverse effects on your health.
2
DON'T SLEEP WITH BRA
Scientists in America have
discovered those that
wear bras for more than 12
hours have
a higher risk of getting breast
cancer.
So go to bed without it.
3
DON'T SLEEP WITH PHONE
Putting the phone beside your
bed or anywhere
near you is not encouraged.
Though some of us will use
phones as alarm clocks,
but please put the phone as far
as possible.
Scientists have proved that
electrical items including
mobile phone and television sets
emit magnetic waves when used.
These waves can cause
disruptions to our nervous
system.
Therefore if you need to put
your mobile phone near you,
switch it off first.
4
DON'T SLEEP WITH MAKE UP
People who sleep with make up
might have
skin problems in the long run.
Sleeping with make up will cause
the skin to have
difficulty in breathing and
problem in perspiring.
You will also need a much longer
time to go into deep sleep.
Lastly.....
5
DON'T SLEEP WITH OTHERS' WIFE /
HUSBAND
You may never wake up again.
12:25 AM
If Bill Gates were killed in a car
accident. He might
find himself being sized up by
God.
"...Well, Bill, I'm really confused on
this call. I'm
not sure whether to send you to
Heaven or Hell. After
all, you enormously helped
society by putting a
computer in almost every home
in the world, and yet
you created that ghastly
Windows 95. I'm going to do
something I've never done
before. In your case, I'm
going to let you decide where
you want to go!"
Bill replied, "Well, thanks, God.
What's the difference
between the two?"
God said, "I'm willing to let you
visit both places
briefly if it will help you make a
decision."
"Fine, but where should I go
first?"
God said, "I'm going to leave that
up to you."
Bill said, "OK, then, let's try Hell
first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a
beautiful, clean, sandy
beach with clear waters.
There were thousands of
beautiful women running around,
playing in the water, laughing
and frolicking about.
The sun was shining and the
temperature was perfect.
Bill was very pleased. "This is
great!" he told God.
"If this is Hell, I REALLY want to
see Heaven!"
"Fine," said God, and off they
went.
Heaven was a high place in the
clouds, with angels
drifting about playing harps and
singing.
It was nice, but not as enticing
as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute
and rendered his
decision. "Hmm, I think prefer
Hell," he told God.
"Fine," retorted God, "as you
desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, God decided to
check up on the late
billionaire to see how he was
doing in Hell.
When God arrived in Hell, he
found Bill shackled to a
wall, screaming amongst the hot
flames in a dark cave.
He was being burned and
tortured by demons.
"How's everything going, Bill?"
God asked.
Bill responded, his voice full of
anguish and
disappointment, "This is awful;
this is NOT what I
expected. I can't believe this
happened. What happened
to that other place with the
beaches and the beautiful
women playing in the water?"
God says, "That was the screen
saver."
12:21 AM
Life before marriage is
TELECOM
" u can express ur self ".
During honeymoon is
DIALOG GSM-
" Always Keep in
Touch
".
After Honeymoon is
Mobitel
" Wherever u go ur
wife
network follows".
After one year Life is
CELLTEL
" ur wife can
change
ur
Face ".
After 10 years Life is
Hutch
" Subscriber is not
reachable
"?????????
8:16 AM
One day there were three
nuns standing outside the
gates of heaven waiting to
enter.
St. Peter approached them
and asked the first nun,
"Do you know who the first
man was on earth?"
She said, "Ummm that's
tough ... Adam?"
Bells rang, angels sang, the
gates opened, and she
walked in.
Then St. Peter went to the
second nun and asked,
"Do you know who the first
woman was on earth?"
She said, "Ummmm ... Eve?"
Bells rang, angels sang, the
gates opened, and she
walked in.
St. Peter then asked the
third and last nun,
"What were the first words
Eve said to Adam?"
The third nun said,
"Hmmmm, that's a hard
one."
Bells rang, angels sang, the
gates opened, and she
walked right in.
5:09 PM
Hi Boss,
People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes
People who do less work...
make less mistakes
People who do no work...
make no mistakes
People who make no
mistakes...
gets promoted
That's why I spend most of
my time
sending e-mails & playing
games at work
I need a promotion.
9:11 AM
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie
Wan ?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to
me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to
Annie Wan!
Operator: You are talking to
someone! Who is this?
Caller: I'm Sum Wan .And I need to
talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know u are someone
and u want to talk to anyone!
But what's
this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well just tell my sister
Annie Wan that our brother, Noe
Wan was
involved in an accident. Noe Wan
got injured and now Noe Wan is
being sent
to the hospital. Right now, Avery
Wan is on his way to the
hospital.
Operator: Look if no one was
injured and no one was sent to
the hospital from the accident
that isn't an urgent matter!
You may find this hilarious but I
don't have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are
you?
Operator: I'm Saw Lee.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry.
Now give me your name
3:20 AM
A man is getting into the shower
just as his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings.
After a few seconds of arguing
over which one should go and
answer the doorbell, the wife
gives up, quickly wraps herself
up in a towel and runs
downstairs.
When she opens the door, there
stands Bob, the next door
neighbour. Before she says a
word, Bob says,"I'll give you 800
dollars to drop that towel that
you have on." After thinking for
a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front
of Bob.
After a few sconds, Bob hands
her 800 dollars and leaves.
Confused, but excited about her
goodfortune, the woman wraps
back up in the towel and goes
back upstairs. When she gets
back to the bathroom, her
husband asks who it was? She
replies. "Bob". "Great," the
husband says, "did he say
anything about the 800 dollars
he owes me?"
3:14 AM
A wife awoke early one morning
to the sounds of her husband
angrily banging around pots and
pans in the kitchens.
When she goes downstairs, she
sees that he is looking for
something to eat but, more
importantly, is very upset about
something.
"What's the problem, darling?
Didn't your program work?"
"It worked. I wrote that code
until the wee hours of the
morning, and it worked!"
"Then what's the matter? Were
there a lot of bugs in it?"
"I took special pains to eliminate
the bugs. It worked, and it
worked perfectly!"
"So what's wrong?"
"I was so tired when I finished, I
decided to take a little nap, just
for a few minutes."
"Did you not sleep well? Did you
have a nightmare?" the
concerned wife inquired.
"No, I slept perfectly well ... with
my head on the backspace key."
12:24 AM
A young unmarried girl discovers
that she is pregnant. Scared,
She confides this ' news' to her
mother.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the
mother says, "Who was the pig
that did This to you?
I want to know!" The girl picks up
the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later a Ferrari
stops in front of their house; a
mature And distinguished man
with gray hair and impeccably
dressed in a very expensive suit
steps out of it and enters the
house.
He sits in the living room with
the father, the mother and the
Girl, and tells them: "Good
morning, your daughter has
informed me of the Problem.
However, I can't marry her
because of my personal family
Situation, but I'll take
responsibility. If a girl is born I will
bequeath her 2 retail stores, a
townhouse, a beach villa and a $
1,000,000 bank account. If a boy
is born, my legacy will be a
couple of factories and a $
2,000,000 bank account.
If it is twins, a factory and $
1,000,000 each. However,
If there is a miscarriage, what do
you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who
had remained silent, places a
hand
Firmly on the man's shoulder and
tells him, "You can try again !"
12:20 AM
He: Yes. At last. It was so
hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to
leave?
He: NO! Don't even think
about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated
on me?
He: NO! Why you even
asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind
of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
Now after the marriage you can
read it from bellow to up !!!
11:23 PM
Once two men sat in a bar
drinking.
The first one said to the
other ,"I have a hell lot of family
problems."
The second one said ,"I'll tell you
mine.
I married a widow having a
young daughter.
My father married my daughter
and so my father became my
son-in-law and I became my
father's father-in-law.
My daughter is my mother and
my wife my grandmother.
More problems occurred when I
had a son.
My son is my father's brother
and so he my uncle.
Situations turned worse when
my father had a son.
Now my father's son I.e. My
brother is my grandson.
Ultimately, I have become my
own grand father and I am my
own grandson.
And you say you have family
problems".
10:49 PM
Never marry a Testing girl since
she always doubts U .
Never marry a DATABASE girl
since she always wants her
husband to be a UNIQUE key.
Never marry a C girl because she
always have a tendency to
BREAK the things and EXIT from
house.
Never marry a C++ girl as u may
encounter some problems in
INHERITANCE.
Never marry a JAVA girl since
she always throws EXCEPTIONS.
Never marry a VB girl since she
has divorce FORM with her
always.
Never marry a UNIX girl ,she
always dump u with a core.
Never marry a PASCAL girl ,she
always scolds u as rascal.
Never marry a COBOL girl since
she may be very good in DIVISION
of families.
Never marry a NETWORK girl since
she may be very good in
shooting troubles.
Better marry a girl not belonging
to SOFTWARE FAMILY
MARRY A GIRL FROM A "HARD"WARE
FAMILY , THEN..........
8:02 AM
This art done by using symbols
________´$$$$`_____________________________,,,_
_______´$$$$$$$`_________________________´$$$`
________`$$$$$$$`______,,________,,_______´$$$$´
_________`$$$$$$$`____´$$`_____´$$`____´$$$$$´
__________`$$$$$$$`_´$$$$$`_´$$$$$`__´$$$$$$$´
___________`$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$_´$$$$$$$´_
____________`$$$$$$_$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$`´$$$$$$´_
___,,,,,,______`$$$$$$_$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$_$$$$$$´_
_´$$$$$`____`$$$$$$_$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$_$$$$$$´_
´$$$$$$$$$`´$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$_$$$$$´_
´$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$_$$$$$´_
___`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$_$$$$$$_$$$$$$´_
______`$$$$$$$$$$$$$_$$$$$__$$_$$$$$$_$$´_
_______`$$$$$$$$$$$$,___,$$$$,_____,$$$$$´_
_________`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$´_
__________`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$´_
____________`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$´_
_______________`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$´_
7:58 AM
This art done by using symbols
................ (_)
...............(___)
...............(___)
...............(___)
...............(___)
./\_____/\__/----\__/\_____/\
.\_____\_°_¤ ---- ¤_°_/____/
.............\ __°__ /
..............|\_°_/|
..............[|\_/|]
..............[|[¤]|]
..............[|;¤;|]
..............[;;¤;;]
.............;[|;¤]|]\
............;;[|;¤]|]-\
...........;;;[|[o]|]--\
..........;;;;[|[o]|]---\
.........;;;;;[|[o]|]|---|
.........;;;;;[|[o]|]|---|
..........;;;;[|[o]|/---/
...........;;;[|[o]/---/
............;;[|[]/---/
.............;[|[/---/
..............[|/---/
.............../---/
............../---/|]
............./---/]|];
............/---/#]|];;
...........|---|[#]|];;;
...........|---|[#]|];;;
............\--|[#]|];;
.............\-|[#]|];
..............\|[#]|]
...............\\#//
.................\/
7:36 AM
You’re my Honeybunch,
Sugarplum
Pumpy-umpy-umpkin,
You ’re my Sweetie Pie
You’re my Cuppycake,
Gumdrop
Snoogums-Boogums,
You ’re the Apple of my
Eye
And I love you so and I
want you to know
That I ’ll always be right
here
And I love to sing sweet
songs to you
Because you are so dear
You’re my Honeybunch…
You’re my Honeybunch,
Sugarplum
Pumpy-umpy-umpkin,
You ’re my Sweetie Pie
You’re my Cuppycake,
Gumdrop
Snoogums-Boogums,
You ’re the Apple of my
Eye
And I love you so and I
want you to know
That I ’ll always be right
here
And I love to sing sweet
songs to you
Because you are so dear
3:08 AM
One who smokes, gets a smoky heart... one who drinks, gets a alcoholic heart... So Friend, U must stop eating sweets bcoz u are already a sweet heart
2:58 AM
DoNot walk behind me,for I may not lead. DoNot walk ahead of me,for
I may not follow. DoNot walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact,
just go away and leave me alone
2:56 AM
Roses r red, violets r blue, monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo. Dont get angry, you will find me there too, not in the cage but laughing at you...haha
2:32 AM
Q: What's the difference between a Kiss, a car & a monkey?
A: A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear & the monkey is U dear!
2:30 AM
U have a brain disease. Your brain is in 2 parts, left and right. Left brain has nothing right in it and right brain has nothing left in it.
2:25 AM
I have a confession to make
ever since i met u its been hard for me to 4get u
every night i see u in my dreams
and find myself shouting
GHOST GHOST !!!
2:23 AM
Nobody Likes U
Nobody cares U
Nobody misses U
Nobody want to see U
Nobody is ur best Frnd
Nobody is happy with U
Hey, Don't cry yaar!!!
My Name is Nobody
2:16 AM
I am at the police station. The police caught me & filed a case against me possesion of good looks. I am doomed! Some1 ugly only can bail me out; so hurry up!
2:07 AM
Gun Can Kill
Fire Can Burn
Wind Can Chill
N
The Mind Can Learn
Anger Can Rage Till It Tears
U Apart
But
The Power Of Ur Smile Cn
Heal A Frozen Heart :P
2:04 AM
Who wants 2 be a millionaire..Lets Play:
Q. Nobody likes u bec u r :
A. Stupid
B.Smelly
C.An idiot or
D.All of the above..50/50? Phone a friend...RING ME I'LL TELL YOU..
2:02 AM
Everynite as i lie in my bed all i cis those sexy eyes, kissable lips, smooth skin, DROP DEAD gorgeous body!DAM. i've got 2 moveDAT MIRROR FROM MY CEILING
1:59 AM
Getting married is very much like going 2 a restaurant with frnds.
U order wht u want, then when u see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that. :D
1:31 AM
Life Is A Football Game,And
V R D Footballs, Never Mind
The Kicks Of People Because
Without Kicks We May Not
Reach The Goal...:D
1:28 AM
There Are Only Two
Important Moments
There Are Only Two
Important Moments In A
Man's Life...
First
When He Was Born
N
Second
When He Proves
Why He Was Born... !
1:26 AM
No One Is Mine
May Be Im Not Fine,
No One Cares 4 Me
No One Has Tears 4 Me,
No One Belives Me
Everyone Says Leave Me,
If I Ever Cry
No One Wil Even Ask Why?
And If I Ever Die
No One Will Cry,
No One Says Take Care
Everyone Says I Dont Care,
When I Need Someone 4
Myself
I Find No One 4help,
I Dont Know Why?
Maybe Talking To Me They
Feel Shy..!!
No One Is Mine
Maybe I M Not Fine... :-|
8:52 AM
One day, a man complained to his
friend, "My elbow really hurts,
guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that.
There's a computer at the drug
store that can diagnose anything
quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your
urine, and the computer will
diagnose your problem and tell you
what you can do about it. And it
only costs $10.00."
The guy figured he had nothing to
lose, so he filled a jar with a urine
sample and went to the drug store.
Finding the computer, he poured in
the sample and deposited the
$10.00. The computer started
making some noise andvarious
lights started flashing. After a brief
pause, out popped a small slip of
paper which read:
You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water,
avoid heavy labor.
It will be better in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how
amazing this new technology was
and how it would change medical
science forever, he began to
wonder if this computer could be
fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed
together some tap water, a stool
sample from his dog, and urine
samples from his wife and
daughter. To top it off, he
masturbated into the concoction. He
went back to the drug store, located
the computer, poured in thisample
and deposited the $10.00. The
machine again made the usual
noises,flashedlights, and printed out
the following analysis:
Your tap water is too hard. Get a
water softener.
Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him
with anti-fungal shampoo.
Your daughter is using cocaine. Put
her in a rehabilitation clinic.
Your wife is pregnant....twin girls.
They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
And.... if you don't stop jerking off,
your elbow will never get better!
8:50 AM
First-year students at
Veterinary school were
attending their first Anatomy
class, with a real dead pig.
They all gathered around the
surgery table with the body
covered with a White sheet.
The professor started the class
by telling them, 'In Veterinary
Medicine it is necessary to
have two important qualities as
a Doctor: The first is that you
not be disgusted by anything
involving the Animal body'. For
an example, the Professor
pulled back the sheet, touched
his finger in the mouth of the
dead pig, withdrew it and put
his Finger in his mouth. 'Go
ahead and do the same thing,'
he told his students.
The students freaked out,
hesitated for several minutes.
But eventually took turns
putting their finger in the mouth
of the dead pig and tasted in
their mouth.
When everyone finished, the
Professor looked at them and
said, 'The Second most
important quality is
observation. I touched with my
middle Finger and tasted on my
index finger. Now learn to pay
attention …
Moral of the story:
Life is Tough but its a lot
tougher when you are stupid.
10:01 AM
* Munna Bhai MCSE *
* Kal MSN Ho Na Ho *
* Love in mIRC *
* Tere Nick *
* ID Mil Gaya *
* Chat To Kero *
* Ek Programmer Thi *
* Yeh Hack Horaha Hai *
* Hum Pyar PC Se Kar Baithe *
* Network Ke Us Paar
* Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai *
* Aao Chat Kare *
* C++ Wale Job Le Jayenge *
* Programmer No.1 *
* Mera Naam Developer *
* Hum Apke Memory Mein Rahate Hein *
* Do Processor, Baarah Terminal *
* Tera Code Chal Gaya *
* Har Din Jo Mail Karega *
* Debugging Koi Khel Nahi *
* Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehtha Hai *
* Raju Ban Gaya MCSD *
* Client Ek Numbari, C ++Programmer Dus Numbari *
* Login Karo Sajana *
* Naukar PC Ka *
* 1942 -- A Bug Story *
* Kaho Na Virus Hai *
* Crash Se Crash Tak *
* Haan Meine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai *
* Shaheed Hacker Singh *
* Password De Ke Dekho *
* Terminal Apna , Login Parayi *
* Mr. Network Lal *
* Terminal Sajaake Rakhna *
* Hackers Ka Raja, Debuggers Ki Rani *
* Kyonki Mein Debug Nahin Kartha *
* Phir Theri `Java-script` Yaad Aayi *
* Hang To Hona Hi Tha *
5:10 AM
Do you know how great people would catch lion with their skills rather then using their strength. Here are some funny examples.
Newton ’s Method:
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.
Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.
Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion.
Rajnikanth Method:
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.
The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it’s sleeping !
Manirathnam Method (director):
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark
room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears.
The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.
Karan Johar Method (director):
Send a lioness into the forest.
Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.
Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.
But 2nd lioness loves both lions.
Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.
You don’t understand right… ok….read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!
Yash Chopra method (director):
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.
Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.
Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.
George bush method:
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!
Rahul Dravid s method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u.
U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run
Lion tired and surrenders
Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.
If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.
5:01 AM
The Minister of Postal Dept.-"Mr.
Lium Kium"
The Minister of Transport
Dept.-"Mr. Payin Yang"
The Minister of Defence
Dept.-"Mr. Sune Sung"
The Minister of Health Dept.-"Mr.
Sanee Pen"
The MInister of Media Dept.-"Mr.
Kium Kerum"
The Minister of Broadcasting
Dept.-"Mr. Gayum Vayum"
The Minister of Sports Dept.-"Mr.
Ping Pong"
The Minister of Agriculture
Dept.-"Mr. Wawan Kan "
The MInister of Financial
Dept.-"Mr. Hinga Kan "
The Minister of Fisheries
Dept.-"Mr. Allan Kan"
The Minister of Education
Dept.-"Mr Pasal Yang"
The Minister of Culture Dept.-"Mr
Urume Kan"
The Minister for Bribery
Dept.-"Mr Jarawa Kan"
The Minister for Working Dept.
-"Mr Kaale Kan"
The Minister for Immigration
Dept.-"Mr Horen Yang"
4:36 AM
This is a comic story called " Buwalanthaya ", published in Silumina News Paper.
4:32 AM
This is a comic story called " Buwalanthaya ", published in Silumina News Paper.
4:31 AM
This is a comic story called " Buwalanthaya ", published in Silumina News Paper.
4:22 AM
This is a comic story called " Buwalanthaya ", published in Silumina News Paper.
10:44 PM
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!
10:57 AM
A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her.
A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.
She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.
This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.
So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!"
He lost 63 pounds that week.
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